Monday, August 23, 2010
Stress was once great for the flight or fight response humans needed to survive in the world. Now the stress is a constant in a lot of people lives, as it is in mine.
For those who don't know, my husband is going to be deployed to the middle east, in a dangerous place, in about two weeks for a year. My oldest daughter moved out for college, to the other side of the country. My oldest step daughter just moved in. My youngest son, who has been home schooled for the last four years, decided he wants to go to Jr. high and the husband told him he could. Finally, my youngest daughter has asked if she is old enough for a boyfriend yet. UGH!
All of this seems to be weighing very heavy on me this week and it shows on the scale. I am up to almost 180 again. Some of it is stuffing my feelings. If you are busy cooking and eating, you aren't worried about life. Same thing can be said about the dojo.
You don't think about the boy down the street smiling at your 13 year old, when you are getting hit by a man with a massive fist. Concentrating on learning a new kick can temporarily remove the thoughts of the desert heat and sand. When you do something 'wrong' and fall on your face, and laugh with your friends about it, everyday problems dissolve.
There is something about a fight class that is so much better than eating to help my anxiety. When I am done sparring, I can sometimes ache, and sometimes have pain, but the worries I came into the dojo with, do not seem as bad when I leave. Worries aren't as heavy. Is it the endorphins drugging my mind like a Valium? I hope so. I need to get back to it, I need my fix.