Recap of this karate girl's weight issues: I have been a big girl all my life. I was born over 10 pounds. Always wore 'husky' as a child. Besides spring baseball, I didn't do much of anything but watch TV growing up. I thinned out some when I was a teen, by thinning out, I mean size 14, which really isn't thin, just smaller than I was.
After my first child, I ballooned up to real fatness. After I left my husband, i lost some weight and went back to size 14. Never did know how much I weighed at my biggest at the time.
New husband, more kids, up to 200. Quickly, i would lose a few pounds with a new diet, slowly I would gain more. New husband goes on deployment to Iraq in 2004, when he comes home, I am over 240.
I know now it was stress that caused me to gain weight while the husband was gone. We had just moved to that state when my husband got his orders that he was going to deploy with his unit from the state we just moved from. I had no family around, no friends and 5 kids to take care of. I was very much alone with cars that always broke, an ex who wanted to make me miserable, and kids who had to deal with their dad suddenly leaving. I tried everything to lose weight during all of this. I would lose a couple pounds, then the next week I wouldn't. I would feel like a failure and food made me feel better. So I'd gain. Then decide I was going to lose weight, and the same thing would happen. Any set-back at all gave me a 'why bother' attitude.
It has been a long time since then. I have gained and lost repeatably. It wasn't until I found weight lifting and then karate did I start to lose weight for real.
The weight lifting gave me visual report card on how I was doing in the form of a workout chart. I would aim to be better everytime. Either more reps or heavier weights and I could see my progress.
Karate helped me in my spirit. From my very first day, I didn't want to give up. At kickboxing that night, i was tired. So very tired. My body hurt very much. It didn't want to do what I told it to do, but I would force it anyway. When I was told I should sit down, I wouldn't.
Before Kyokushin, I have never followed through when it gets tough, and I have never done things as tough as I have in the dojo. There were a few times, when I would feel the 'not worthy' thoughts coming into my head, and I would skip a class or two, but I would come back. I am not sure why, but it doesn't matter, I am doing it. I am following through. Now lets see if I can follow through in other areas. Because today I am making my website for my web design business. Things will be rough, but if I can follow through, I will be amazing.