Monday, April 19, 2010

Feeling Weak

This morning my husband wanted to workout. He was going on about how he would like to be strong and fit. So I suggested to him that he do weights. He thought it was a great idea and asked if we could do a program together. I love lifting weights. I usually do a program and keep a chart. I love to see the numbers of the reps get bigger until failure, then I live to see the weights get heavier. I feel accomplished and strong. 

I hadn't done a weight program for about a month and a half. So I was going down all the programs I have, including making one up, when the husband wants P90X, my least favorite. It isn't because it is hard (which it is), but because it takes so long. The ChaLean program I did before, takes about 35 minutes a day. It is really good because it uses compound exercises that hit two muscle groups with each movement. I have done that program twice and when he said P90X, at first, i was trying to talk him into chalean with me, but then I relented. I mean, I do have to change things up. I really need to challenge myself.

P90X is about an hour of push-ups, chin-ups, pull-ups and upper back exercises. As a woman, and I am sure many women have problems with this, I have a hard time with pull-ups. I just do not have the strenghth to pull up 175 pounds. So I did modify with a lat bar. We only have the one pull-up bar anyway.

I digress, the point of the above is that I worked my butt off this morning. I did 55 minutes of chest and back exercises, then almost 15 minutes of abs. My upper back was sore, my calves from the other day are still sore, and I still had karate to go, 3 hours of it. 

Karate started easy enough. I jumped into my daughter's beginner class. Near the end, people started to stream in for sabaki class (fight class). There were more than 20 of us. The windows were steamed up in just a few minutes it seemed. I was sweating bullets and was getting tired fast. After that class about 12 of us stayed for full contact training. I was tempted to go home. I was just so hot and dizzy. 

Bag word started and I was having to stop because of the world spinning, and my lack of enough oxygen. I was resting, i thought, when I needed to. When it was my turn to call the combination, she asked me if I could and if I wanted to. Usually she tells me that I am and which combo I am calling. I must have looked like crap. Near the end of bag work, like three rounds to go, she told everyone to rest if you need to, except if you are going to be fighting at the tournament. If your a fighter, she says, suck it up. Then she looks at me and asks if I need to sit out. 

'Hey I am a fighter!' I am thinking. Whats up with that?

Now I don't mind feeling weak, but showing weak it a different matter all together. I took a deep breath, told her I was fine and busted out as strong as I could go. I wouldn't have sat out, no matter what, but I didn't like being singled out. Maybe I should just listen to her, she knows so much more than I do. I felt like I should have sat a round out, but I just couldn't do it. Pride? Maybe.

I remember when I first started, nearly a year ago. The second night of kick boxing, everyone in the dojo asked if I was okay at some point during the night. Sensei had asked me if I needed to sit out. I felt like no way was I going to do that. I have sat through a lot in my life. I have let a lot of opportunities pass me by while I sat. I will never get better if I don't push through the pain, the discomfort and the exhaustion. Next time I will be less tired, more comfortable and I'll have less pain. 


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